What your tribe says about you: Aquarius Full Moon Reflections

I’m going to get real with you, even if it feels a little vulnerable. My lifestyle is centered around spirituality and personal development, and has been for a long time. When I lived in Boulder, Colorado, there were many people walking this path. This place is an absolute portal for like-minded spiritualists to come together, which is what I was looking for when I moved out there in 2016. It even earned the name ‘the Boulder bubble’, because it truly is its own unique world where spiritualists can come together and practice.

I made deep, lifelong connections in Boulder with people who matched my wavelength, and challenged me to expand even further. For this, I am eternally grateful, as I consider some of these connections to be soul family. I worked in acupuncture, ran an apothecary, became a Reiki master, mastered astrology, made ritual candles and tools, and dove deeply into shadow work. I studied with some very big names in the esoteric/spiritual fields, and learned so much. I grew in ways I couldn’t have fathomed before moving there. HOWEVER….

I began to notice something amongst many of the spiritual communities. I witnessed a lot of spiritual materialism, and started to see it within myself. I believed that our way of doing things is the “right way”, or the “better way”, or somehow superior to the rest of the world. Within the conscious community, I witnessed so many underlying behaviors that communicated ‘you can’t sit with us’ to anyone they viewed as an outsider, and for a little while, I bought into it.

Eventually, I felt the stickiness of this energy within my body, as I quickly came to realize that this is just shadow masking itself in spirituality, and if I’m entertaining it, this shadow must live within me, too. Fear is at the root of this judgment. The perception of someone being an outsider because of their differences is shadow, not spirit. This isn’t how I wanted to show up for myself and navigate through the world, and it CERTAINLY was NOT something I wanted to pass on to my clients. I came to resent it, and moved away from Boulder to a neighboring town. I was hyper aware of spirituality used as a tool to mask fears, anxieties, neurosis, etc. as it mirrored my own shadow, and served as an invitation to pop the Boulder bubble I created within myself. When we feel shadow emerge, this is the call to heal and integrate, but it’s on us as individuals to answer the call.

Why is it so hard to answer the call? Because this requires that we face our ego – the patterns and behaviors that have kept us ‘safe’ for weeks, months, years, and maybe even the majority of our lives. It requires that we admit that we aren’t always right, we made a mistake, we’re scared, or that we carry shame in our hearts. Shattering the beliefs that give us the false impression that we’re somehow better, smarter, or superior in any way can be painful.

I used to receive messages on social media from evangelical Christians all the time trying to convert me, or save me. I used to work as a scientist in the stem cell field, and witnessed another version of dismissing people’s outlooks that don’t match their own…and I began to wonder how different I actually was from them, knowing these shadows lived inside of me, too. These shadows beg for significance in people’s lives, grasp for control over reality and other people, and are terrified of the unknown. They manifest in the ‘you can’t sit with us’ mentality, and the judgment of others. But as I always say, within the shadow lies the key to true spirituality and expansion. 

After coming to terms with the way this shadow was manifesting in my own life, I decided to choose out of this way of being so I could shift the pattern. My soul longed to experience something different that would challenge my thoughts and beliefs in a profound way. Living in Boulder served a very important purpose, and I want to be clear that this article isn’t intended to bash Boulder. There are tons of amazing people there. However, it was time for me to look beyond it for guidance, as the outlooks in many of the communities did not truly serve my spiritual growth (as ironic as that is). So, I decided to move away from Colorado completely, and immerse myself in a much more diverse culture where I was forced to recognize and appreciate all kinds of lifestyles. I’m still exploring this realm of my life, but so much magick has unfolded already.

This is the wisdom of the Aquarius full moon. The Aquarian archetype honors and supports everyone’s own unique path. It celebrates being ‘different’, and recognizes the genius within all sentient beings. This is the essence of spirituality. When we can see ourselves within a person who is totally different than us, acknowledge their gifts, and even learn from them, this brings us closer to love. Whether you’re a Christian, scientist, or practitioner of conscious living, focusing on the differences you have with other people and fearing them will ultimately draw you further away from yourself and God.

The Aquarius full moon is a major invitation to illuminate the shadows within that prevent you from embracing brotherhood and sisterhood of all kinds. To admit where you are judging someone for being different, and to question what the underlying fears, beliefs, and values are within you. Where are you running from your own authenticity and truth? Where are you denying yourself the gift of receiving connection and love, due to this fear? How are you projecting judgment onto someone else, because they don’t see things the way you do? What IS your authentic truth, and does your tribe truly align with this? Are you dismissive of a certain type of person, and if so, why?

Your tribe, and the people you surround yourself with say a lot about your internal landscape. It’s yet another mirror through which you can see yourself more clearly. The Aquarius full moon is a divine invitation for aligning with your authentic truth, even if it goes against popular opinion, and to follow it. It’s a chance to look at the people you surround yourself with, and reflect on what this reveals about your beliefs, thoughts, opinions, values, etc., and question whether this supports a future that feels true to you.

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