The Queen Archetype: Cultivating Confidence

So many clients come to me with questions around confidence, why they don’t have it, and how they can cultivate it. Since we’ve entered Leo season, this is a great time to talk about the queen archetype. Leo is the king or queen of the zodiac, and it is best known for its confidence, charisma, and courage.

The truth is, everyone struggles with confidence at some point in their lives. It shows up in the job you hate, but do anyway because you don’t believe you can have something better. In the friend who continuously crosses your boundaries, but is never told to do otherwise. In the person you’re dating who never seems to put in as much effort as you do, which you tolerate and accept. In the dreams you place on the back-burner, because you don’t believe you can achieve them. If this is ringing a bell, shadow is at the wheel, my friend.

Lack of confidence robs our ability to live high quality lives. The thing is though, Queens do not settle for low quality anything, and this starts from within. She has no problem receiving abundance, love, and high ticket experiences. So, if you’re witnessing low value relationships, jobs, etc. in your life, it’s time to take a look at what’s happening inside. Your external reality mirrors your internal reality.

Low quality energy resides in fear, lack, and unhealed wounds that beg for healing and care. It will keep you playing small, and will dramatically hinder your growth if this is the main place you’re operating from. The queen is not only able to recognize this, but she’s willing to admit her role in all of it, and do her part to change it. She does not play the victim, give all of her power away to external circumstances, or refuse to take ownership of her patterning and wounding. The queen is powerful, and she knows this is sourced from within. She doesn’t need to solely rely on the external world for strength and courage. The queen is ready and willing to invest time, energy, and resources into healing and ensuring a high quality life for herself.

So how do we begin to take ownership of our wounding, and step into confidence? Well, at the end of the day, confidence is really an umbrella term for deeper needs such as safety, assurance, certainty, and trust in oneself. Confidence radiates once these needs are addressed and met. This looks like unpacking and healing the beliefs that support feeling unsafe, unsure, and distrust in oneself. What are the underlying fears that generate these beliefs, and where did they come from? Are you willing to believe that they may not be true? What do you need to give yourself in order to heal and transform these beliefs into ones that feel encouraging? What triggers these limiting beliefs, and how do they manifest themselves in your behavior?

 Confidence radiates from your being and mirrors beliefs like…

 If I fall, I trust I’ll figure it out.

I am supported by the universe.

I know that I have the internal resources to get me through.

I trust my judgment, intuition, and decision making.

I deserve someone who respects me the way I respect myself.

It’s safe to say no if I don’t want to do something, or it doesn’t feel right.

It’s safe to say yes if I do want to do something, or it feels right.

I am worthy of what I desire most.

I deserve to be surrounded by people who love, encourage, and support me.

I know I have what it takes to make my dreams a reality. If I need to learn more skills, I’ll do that along the way.

I do not need to make people’s bad behavior mean that I am undeserving or unlovable.

I am certain that what I want exists and is available.

I trust the timing of what’s unfolding, and know that it is for my highest good.

I don’t need to chase anyone or anything; I just need to radiate from within.

I am loved and supported by people around me.

The universe is benevolent, and working in my favor.

I am safe in my body.

There’s no need to grasp for control, because I trust the process.

…and so much more…

In cultures throughout the world, the queen is an archetype that is revered and respected. However, in order to experience this in your external reality, you must develop respect for yourself internally. This means acknowledging and honoring your own boundaries, viewing yourself as high quality, and saying ‘no’ to whatever does not mirror this high value energy within yourself – this includes friendships, partnerships, jobs, etc.  

The queen recognizes that this isn’t just for herself, but for her people, too. She is fiercely loyal to the people, and knows that she must set an example with her behavior. She knows she is a divine channel, and she’s well aware of the impact she has on those around her. She’s ready and willing to take responsibility for her own energy so she can show up as a high quality leader for her people. In order to do this, the queen knows she must take good care of herself.

We all have royalty within us, and it comes out when we are able to accept and fully be our authentic selves, without apology. It is the integration of shadow that allows us to step into our queen energy. Shadow tells you that you are not enough, that you don’t deserve more, and that you just need to settle for mediocrity. The queen sits underneath this shadow, inviting you to relate to yourself and the world differently. She sees her body as a temple, as she sources her strength and confidence from it. Her body is a sacred place for safety, support, healing, nourishment, and care. Confidence isn’t an external job, it’s internal. It comes from the relationship you have with yourself, and your willingness to stay loyal and true to it.

So I ask you, where are you being disloyal to the relationship you have with yourself? This will point you to the shadow that your queen remains behind.

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